Tonight I am thinking about Indulgence. How you know if you have gone too far, or not far enough. How you can gain clarity on your own thoughts to challenge the spaces that they have flowed within, and what spaces they may need to exist in more. How do you move beyond indulgence, to reflective spaces that can create new, and beautiful things? How do you explore yourself without holding guilt, while simultaneously holding yourself accountable to moving beyond indulgence? As I wonder my mind through these thoughts, I am left reflecting on the places and spaces that I have held for the past two months. I am left questioning if my indulgence has been nothing but self-thoughts void of meaning that could warrant the time spent on them. Yet, I question what thoughts do? Who defines such value, and how have ‘they’ shaped the value that one assigns to themselves. How do ‘they’ reflect one’s own definition of value, if others are implicated in this construction at all. I am reminded of an article I recently read by Heather Plett called ‘What it means to hold space for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well” – http://heatherplett.com/2015/03/hold-space/. Below is a list of the eight tips that they explore.
- Give people permission to trust their own intuition and wisdom.
- Give people only as much information as they can handle.
- Don’t take their power away.
- Keep your own ego out of it.
- Make them feel safe enough to fail.
- Give guidance and help with humility and thoughtfulness.
- Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc.
- Allow them to make different decisions and to have different experiences than you would.
Heather discusses how Holding space is not something that we can master overnight, and that holding space shifts with situations, people, moments and places. It is through the concept of holding space for others, that I wonder how one would begin to hold space for themselves. How do we hold space for ourselves while also holding spaces for others?